Taken from Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Id,_ego_and_super-ego)
Id, ego and super-ego are the three parts of the psychic apparatus defined in Sigmund Freud's structural model of the psyche; they are the three theoretical constructs in terms of whose activity and interaction mental life is described. According to this model of the psyche, the id is the set of uncoordinated instinctual trends; the ego is the organized, realistic part; and the super-ego plays the critical and moralizing role.
If you're my Facebook friend you know that I fully flesh out Id, Ego and Superego in my mind, and nearly every day I give voice to their (my mental) dialogue via my status updates. Largely I do this to be witty and amusing, to make people smile, laugh, to shock and awe, and I find my friends' reactions range from amusement, to amazement, to fear (oh, my god, she's batshit crazy). But ever since I began breaking their voices out this way, I've become shockingly in-touch with that oh-so-subtle inner voice behind so many strong but often baffling feelings.
An example post from last week: I've noticed that, when it comes to self-discipline, my Id is the most vocal part of my mind, with Superego tending to be the strong, silent type, and Ego nervously filling in the tension with chit-chat, trying to keep the peace. Early morning is a great example of this. Id: "*pout* *stomp* *crosses arms* I don't WANNA BE AWAKE!" Superego: "(silently gives off the it's-too-early-for-this-shit vibe and heads for the kitchen to make the coffee)" Ego: "(wearily) Fucking Wednesday, right, guys?" (crickets chirping) "Ah, screw you guys." Id: "WEEEEEEEAK!" Every morning, in my head, two weary parents get a toddler ready for another day.
If you've done any sort of soul-searching at all, read any self-help books, ever seen a therapist of any kind, you know that we all have an inner voice, an inner dialogue with ourselves. Give it 3 sides like Freud did, call it your Conscience like so many moral and philosophical scholars have, the angel on your shoulder and the devil on your other, whatever you like. Inside your mind you are talking to yourself constantly. Some of the voices are louder and more urgent (Add milk to the grocery list, don't forget to pick up the kids from school, dammit I need this project completed by Friday, where is my coworker with that critical component I need to finish it?), whereas others are a little quieter and more subtle (*sigh* I am not spending enough time with my family, and I really want to go back to school but where will I find the time/money?) and others are far, far below, more feeling than thought, because we are too afraid of what they say to us to really hear the words, so instead we just feel their effects (I'm a terrible parent and missing out entirely on my childrens' lives while I toil away at this job I don't really enjoy, but I'm afraid to follow my dreams; I would probably fail, I don't know how to even start, and what makes me think I'm good enough or talented enough or smart enough to do what I really love? I'm better off staying meek and quiet and working my way to the grave like everyone else. I'm nothing more than average, at best. I don't deserve better.)-so here instead of hearing this voice we feel guilt, sadness, hurt, fear, and resignation. Those feelings are feelings of vulnerability, so we switch into secondary emotions that are easier to handle; resentment, recalcitrance, anger. And then we often lash out at things around us, perceiving them to be the source of our discontent; our marital partners, our children, our coworkers or supervisors...we blame politicians and people whose political or religious views are oppositional to ours...we blame the state of the world, and we feel hopeless and helpless.
That's what happens when you don't listen to Id.
See, guys, Id isn't really so much your "uncoordinated instinctual trends", she's your heart. She's the purest part of you. She's the sweet little child inside of us all who just wants to give and get love. That's all. She's the inner puppydog who just wants to wag her tail and lick your face and have you pet her in return. She doesn't ask for much, but in return, she'll give you *everything*. All you have to do is give her love.
The problem is, the constructs of our society are built on Superego. Supress, Repress, Conform, Deride, Degrade, Deny, Judge, Punish...in every major philosophy and walk of life in modern society, we exalt perfection and the machination of mind and body, and we punish any sort of desire or impulse. Religion calls it "original sin", psychologists call them our "basic, animal instincts", but no matter who is labeling it, the underlying judgment is the same; they're dirty, base thoughts that need controlled at the least, and ideally, expunged.
Except they're *not*. Sometimes the nasty, dirty ways that Id is expressed are really just confused cries for the same thing we all want deep down; that feeling of love that fills us up, that radiates from us when our cup runneth over. People who turn to drugs, or alcohol, or food, or sex...they're just *empty*, they don't know how to fill Id up, and so they turn outside of themselves for the answer...for a feeling of "fullness" or of "rising above" their misery. But the effects are temporary, and every time we're brought lower, because when we come back down we feel the judgment of Superego; shame, guilt, denigration. Superego punishes our attempts to fulfill Id, and so Id's voice retreats further, quieter, but the feelings are no less intense. And so we get further and further from what it is Id really wants and needs, until we're shrivelling and dying from the inside, dessicated little shells of the people we could be.
Folks, the solution to every problem on this planet is to Know Your Id. All your Id wants is to feel love. Not "love-D". That's another false way of filling up. Your Id wants to *feel love*. Love. Any and every kind of love. It wants to be its joyful, childish self, running through meadows without a care in the world, knowing that it's safe and cared for...by YOU. Superego is there to keep you from doing the WRONG things to fulfill Id, and Ego is there to help make sure that neither takes over completely...to keep your balance between giddy childlike joy and severe, withered and cruel denial and deprivation. When Id is fulfilled, Superego can relax, because there are no impulses to do foolish things. When Id is love, she *is* conscience; without guilt or shame, she can turn away from those things that falsely fill up and provide a temporary feeling of "love", because she knows they won't deliver. She doesn't need to look outside herself to find it, she already has all she needs inside.
So what is it your Id needs, to feel love?
She needs nurtured, heard, understood. What do your children need from you? Set aside all the things you have to teach them for societal constructs; I'm not talking about teaching them manners or safety or math. I'm talking about your infant, your toddler. Sure, they need to *be* safe, but they need to *feel* safe...safe physically and emotionally. They need to be accepted, not reviled. Look inwards at your ridiculous, childish self, and love her, rather than judge her. Take joy in her, believe in her, let her dance and sing without shushing her and telling her this is neither the time or place, or that such jubilations are silly and should not be given in to. Feed her the things that bring her joy; take care of your body so you feel good physically. Feed her good food so that she grows strong and healthy. Exercise to keep yourself sound, to keep your body functions, hormones, etc. balanced, all of which affect your mind and mood. And experience beauty and joy. What is it that makes your heart sing? Jumping into piles of leaves? Dancing and singing out loud to your favorite songs? Playing on a swingset? Indulge in all of those innocent things that make your heart feel like it's glowing and swelling, fit to burst with butterflies and sunshine! Id is *simple*. She revels in beauty, in play, in wondering at the magic in the small things like butterfly cocoons and thunderstorms.
Literally, get in touch with your inner child, and let her be.
People don't abuse substances, or food, or sex, or other people, because they want to. They abuse them because they're empty, and they need to feel love. I really even believe that the concept of dieties, and their unconditional love, are substitute parental constructs for the adult Id, feeling empty and lost and looking for external fulfillment; for a way to return to that feeling of simple joy and love.
Your inner radiance will never be found in a religion, in a box of donuts, in a needle or pipe, in another human being. But it might be brought out by a song, or a season; a boat ride, or a pumpkin patch, or watching a stick bug walk up a tree.
Know your Id. Break down your inner dialogue. Identify the parts of you getting you through the constructs of your day; the voice telling you all the things you must do, that gets you up to your alarm clock in the morning and gets you to work, to your workout, and through all of the boring and mundane parts of your life. Identify the reluctant, pouting part of you that sounds like your moody toddler on a bad day; NO! when the alarm goes off, I DON'T WANNA! When it's time to go to work, YOU CAN'T MAKE ME when it's time to work out. And then listen to your consoling, cajoling voice, mediating between your two halves, trying to find acceptable compromises for Superego so that Id will come along more compliantly, working for inner peace. And then take a minute to ask Id what it is she *really* wants, what would make her heart sing today. Dig deeper than "call in sick to work and sit on the couch watching soap operas and eating ice cream"...what is it she feels she's missing? Maybe she feels superfluous at work, and you need to find a project at work that makes you feel VALUABLE as a person. Maybe she feels like life is one have-to after another, and today you need to make time to take your lunch to the park and have a picnic in the grass, or drive to your child's school and surprise them by having lunch with them, and being a silly kid at a cafeteria table one more time in your life. Maybe after work you need to go ride bikes with your kiddo-not some planned ride, a joy ride! Or maybe you need some face time with someone who brings you joy, or to volunteer to help people (because handing out love just for the joy of it brings it back to you tenfold).
True love is kindness, it's simplicity, it's beauty, it's gratitude, it's humility, it's all give and incidentally and accidentally but universally tons of get. You act out of love, you receive love, and Id is full.
Life is confusing right now, and we're at war inside, and therefore, out. Know your Id, folks. Feed her beauty and kindness, fill her with love, and watch life become perfection in a way you could never hope to achieve by scheme and design. You don't need a different job, or a different mate, or more money, or a nanny, or everyone to convert to your religious or political views for you to feel happy and fulfilled. What you need is love.
Today, identify one thing that makes your heart sing and your soul surge. Then utterly ignore Superego, don't think, just GO, and do it. Id is love, and you need her as much as she needs you.
Namaste, friends; may you find much love to feed your Id today!
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
There Are Two Types
A friend of a friend who was an avid motorcyclist back in my college days once said, "There are two types of bikers; those who've gone down, and those who are going to." The idea was crystal clear; you don't ride your bike without "putting it down" at least once. If you're lucky, you walk away. If you're unlucky, your first time may be your last time. In the case of my friend, his first time was his last time, because it was almost his last ride on earth. After his crash and 24 hours of unconsciousness, a pin in his arm, a horrific case of road rash, and a life saved by a helmet, he scrapped the bike for a car-and we all breathed a sigh of relief.
To me, however, this is a metaphor; it's not just about riding a motorcycle. You can say this about anyone who does anything with any regularity. And for me, it's about running.
I'd always known the day would come when I was going to fall on a run. It was only a matter of time. I've been running for two years now. While I exercise 4-6 times per week, my running varies. In the spring and fall it's almost daily, minimum of 2.5 miles. In the winter it can be maybe only once a week or once a month, and the rest of the time I'm the hamster on the elliptical :). Regardless, there are two types of runners; those who've gone down, and those who haven't yet.
Today I transitioned from the latter group to the former group.
Last Tuesday I ran the longest and furthest I'd ever run; 5.2 miles, 55m29s. Today I wanted to beat that record; I wanted to run 6 miles, approximately 63 minutes at my average pace, nonstop. It was the perfect day for it. Low 70's outside, a light breeze, ahhhhhh. My kind of weather! I struck out, and on my loop took a street I'd never run. Halfway down it, the sidewalks disappeared and I was left to run on the shoulder. Now, those of you who know me know how cautious I am about running. I like to run on flat, even, level, predictable surfaces. Not because I have weak ankles (come ON I wear 6" heels all day every day!), not because I can't run on an incline (although it's true, I hate to) but because uneven surfaces = unsure footfalls. And unsure footfalls = turned ankles. And turned ankles = 6 weeks on your ass while you recover. And Lisa does NOT do recuperation gracefully. So, I was trotting along the shoulder at an easy pace, saving my stamina, about two miles into my run, when sure enough, I landed poorly with my left foot.
When I was a kid in gymnastics (it was brief, believe me) one of the first lessons we were taught was that when you fall, you should "go loose". This is why neither small children nor drunks are easily injured in car accidents; they don't have the reflex responses to tense up, which causes more damage than the impact itself. They're loose. The minute I felt my ankle give to the left, I let both knees buckle (loose!) and dropped purposefully to my right knee. I hadn't even hit the ground and I was wondering how much damage I'd done to my ankle. My boss later commented that the first thing she thinks when she falls was, "WHO SAW THAT?" It took me a full two minutes to even consider the existence of others. All I could think about was how bad my ankle might be and whether or not I'd be out for the training season.
The funny thing about us panicky, high-anxiety types is that, when there's a REAL emergency, we are the coolest mofo's you'll ever meet. We are literally, constantly in contingency planning mode, so when the real shit hits the fan, we are completely unruffled. We live our lives PLANNING for this shit. Roughly sixty seconds after my fall, as I sat gripping my ankle, it occurred to me to stop my stopwatch. At about the same time my mind divided; there was the worried part freaking about my training, and then there was The Overlord. The Overlord is the emotionless biotch that kicks in when all hell is breaking loose. Over the low murmur of my worries she said in an authoritative yet bored voice, "You're FINE. Check for swelling. And for pete's sake, quit WHINING." I pulled both ankles together and did a visual check; they seemed ok. I pressed into the sore spot on the left ankle, then the corresponding part on the right. Definite early signs of swelling on the left. "Get up. Stretch it. MOVE. Don't let it swell." The Overlord intoned. I got up. I extended my leg and did ankle circles. At roughly THIS point it occurred to me that I was a mile from my office with no cell phone, and no one had stopped (gee, did anyone see me fall? They HAD to have this is a busy street! Man people are rude!). I was going to have to walk anyway. And then my divided mind reconvened; "Do you think I can run on it?" "There's one way to find out, isn't there?" "Let's walk a block." So I walked. It wasn't too terrible. I could feel the pull. Luckily, for other symptoms I'd taken some ibuprofen before my run. I reached Sloan's Lake Park, and thought, "Well, you've got 23 minutes on the clock. You have 40 left to go to meet your goal. Your energy is great, and you seem to have full range of motion. What have we got to lose?" I broke into a trot, somewhat like a dog on a leisurely little jog or a horse cantering. I felt little darts of discomfort, but nothing horrible. My stride was definitely affected, but I could run. But how far?
And that, my friends, is the moral of today's story. Because there are two types of runners; those who have gone down, and those who are going to. And there are two types of fallen runners; those who walk home, and those who walk it off, and finish their run.
And there are two types of runners who resume their run; those who compromise, and those who refuse.
And I refuse.
I clocked in my run at 63m18s. One or two of those minutes was spent sitting on the sidewalk though :) I ran 5.8 miles, so over my normal average pace, even if you knock 2 minutes off the time, but hey...
How fucking fast can YOU run with a turned ankle?
Better yet...would you have run it at all?
So the next time you're faced with a challenge, ask yourself; "In this situation, there are Two Types of responders; which type am I? Am I the type who limps home, or am I the type who perseveres?" Then actively choose to persevere.
As I wrap up this post, I'm sitting in my office, leg elevated, bag o' peas on the somewhat swollen ankle, getting ready to take some more ibuprofen for bed. It's tender, and it'll need a *little* TLC, but if I rest it well tomorrow, by Thursday I'll be recommissioned :)
The moral of this story is not, by the way, to be stupid, and push yourself beyond your limits. You DO have to know your body and listen to it. If I couldn't have walked, I wouldn't have tried to run, and if I tried to run and was suffering horrible agonizing pain...I'd've walked home.
But you never know what you can do until you try!
Today, find out which group you fall into. Try something you never imagined before. You may just surprise yourself. Don't ask yourself if you can. Don't Think about doing it. Just Go.
And afterward-RICE! ;)
To me, however, this is a metaphor; it's not just about riding a motorcycle. You can say this about anyone who does anything with any regularity. And for me, it's about running.
I'd always known the day would come when I was going to fall on a run. It was only a matter of time. I've been running for two years now. While I exercise 4-6 times per week, my running varies. In the spring and fall it's almost daily, minimum of 2.5 miles. In the winter it can be maybe only once a week or once a month, and the rest of the time I'm the hamster on the elliptical :). Regardless, there are two types of runners; those who've gone down, and those who haven't yet.
Today I transitioned from the latter group to the former group.
Last Tuesday I ran the longest and furthest I'd ever run; 5.2 miles, 55m29s. Today I wanted to beat that record; I wanted to run 6 miles, approximately 63 minutes at my average pace, nonstop. It was the perfect day for it. Low 70's outside, a light breeze, ahhhhhh. My kind of weather! I struck out, and on my loop took a street I'd never run. Halfway down it, the sidewalks disappeared and I was left to run on the shoulder. Now, those of you who know me know how cautious I am about running. I like to run on flat, even, level, predictable surfaces. Not because I have weak ankles (come ON I wear 6" heels all day every day!), not because I can't run on an incline (although it's true, I hate to) but because uneven surfaces = unsure footfalls. And unsure footfalls = turned ankles. And turned ankles = 6 weeks on your ass while you recover. And Lisa does NOT do recuperation gracefully. So, I was trotting along the shoulder at an easy pace, saving my stamina, about two miles into my run, when sure enough, I landed poorly with my left foot.
When I was a kid in gymnastics (it was brief, believe me) one of the first lessons we were taught was that when you fall, you should "go loose". This is why neither small children nor drunks are easily injured in car accidents; they don't have the reflex responses to tense up, which causes more damage than the impact itself. They're loose. The minute I felt my ankle give to the left, I let both knees buckle (loose!) and dropped purposefully to my right knee. I hadn't even hit the ground and I was wondering how much damage I'd done to my ankle. My boss later commented that the first thing she thinks when she falls was, "WHO SAW THAT?" It took me a full two minutes to even consider the existence of others. All I could think about was how bad my ankle might be and whether or not I'd be out for the training season.
The funny thing about us panicky, high-anxiety types is that, when there's a REAL emergency, we are the coolest mofo's you'll ever meet. We are literally, constantly in contingency planning mode, so when the real shit hits the fan, we are completely unruffled. We live our lives PLANNING for this shit. Roughly sixty seconds after my fall, as I sat gripping my ankle, it occurred to me to stop my stopwatch. At about the same time my mind divided; there was the worried part freaking about my training, and then there was The Overlord. The Overlord is the emotionless biotch that kicks in when all hell is breaking loose. Over the low murmur of my worries she said in an authoritative yet bored voice, "You're FINE. Check for swelling. And for pete's sake, quit WHINING." I pulled both ankles together and did a visual check; they seemed ok. I pressed into the sore spot on the left ankle, then the corresponding part on the right. Definite early signs of swelling on the left. "Get up. Stretch it. MOVE. Don't let it swell." The Overlord intoned. I got up. I extended my leg and did ankle circles. At roughly THIS point it occurred to me that I was a mile from my office with no cell phone, and no one had stopped (gee, did anyone see me fall? They HAD to have this is a busy street! Man people are rude!). I was going to have to walk anyway. And then my divided mind reconvened; "Do you think I can run on it?" "There's one way to find out, isn't there?" "Let's walk a block." So I walked. It wasn't too terrible. I could feel the pull. Luckily, for other symptoms I'd taken some ibuprofen before my run. I reached Sloan's Lake Park, and thought, "Well, you've got 23 minutes on the clock. You have 40 left to go to meet your goal. Your energy is great, and you seem to have full range of motion. What have we got to lose?" I broke into a trot, somewhat like a dog on a leisurely little jog or a horse cantering. I felt little darts of discomfort, but nothing horrible. My stride was definitely affected, but I could run. But how far?
And that, my friends, is the moral of today's story. Because there are two types of runners; those who have gone down, and those who are going to. And there are two types of fallen runners; those who walk home, and those who walk it off, and finish their run.
And there are two types of runners who resume their run; those who compromise, and those who refuse.
And I refuse.
I clocked in my run at 63m18s. One or two of those minutes was spent sitting on the sidewalk though :) I ran 5.8 miles, so over my normal average pace, even if you knock 2 minutes off the time, but hey...
How fucking fast can YOU run with a turned ankle?
Better yet...would you have run it at all?
So the next time you're faced with a challenge, ask yourself; "In this situation, there are Two Types of responders; which type am I? Am I the type who limps home, or am I the type who perseveres?" Then actively choose to persevere.
As I wrap up this post, I'm sitting in my office, leg elevated, bag o' peas on the somewhat swollen ankle, getting ready to take some more ibuprofen for bed. It's tender, and it'll need a *little* TLC, but if I rest it well tomorrow, by Thursday I'll be recommissioned :)
The moral of this story is not, by the way, to be stupid, and push yourself beyond your limits. You DO have to know your body and listen to it. If I couldn't have walked, I wouldn't have tried to run, and if I tried to run and was suffering horrible agonizing pain...I'd've walked home.
But you never know what you can do until you try!
Today, find out which group you fall into. Try something you never imagined before. You may just surprise yourself. Don't ask yourself if you can. Don't Think about doing it. Just Go.
And afterward-RICE! ;)
Friday, March 2, 2012
MYOB!
Ronald Reagan once said, "What other people think of me is none of my business."
If you're not in a good mental place right now, I know what you probably think of that quote. You probably think that he's full of shit, that nobody feels that way.
If you ARE in a good mental place, you're smiling and nodding :)
Are you the type of person who has to call your friends to find out what they're wearing tonight? Or are you the one your friends call?
Are you the type of person who has no problem ordering a water and a salad while your friends are ordering cocktails and burgers, and just smiling and laughing when they deride you for it? Or are you the one trying to bring your healthy friend down to your level by chiding them that they should "let loose once in awhile" that it's "just one drink"?
Are you a leader, or a follower? Do you raise your fellow humans up, or bring them down?
Do you mind your own business, or everyone else's?
I've often found in my life that unhappy people are obsessed with what the rest of us are doing; mainly because it takes the focus off of themselves. They don't want to sit and consider how they're making themselves miserable, so they pick other people apart. I've found that, when we're healthy, and paying attention to taking care of ourselves, we are too busy to spare a thought for what others are doing for THEMselves...and it never occurs to us to consider what they think of us, let alone to care about it!
I'm here to tell you that what you all think of me is none of my business, and I'm not the slightest bit interested in hearing it. I laugh out loud when people begin or end a sentence to me with, "No offense." That's so much more a statement about THEM than it is about ME; it implies that they would be offended by what they're about to say, so they think I would be, too. I'm nearly impossible to offend; because I really don't care what anyone else thinks. I walk my truth every day, I do myself proud, and I sleep pretty damn well at night. I demand a lot of myself mentally, physically, emotionally, socially, parentally...I've got pretty high standards. As Kent Nerburn said, “It is not our task to judge the worthiness of our path; it is our task to walk our path with worthiness.” I strive to be worthy of the life force within me every day; of the body I'm blessed with, the mind I'm gifted with, the child I'm entrusted with. Every little decision every day begins and ends with whether or not the choice I'm about to make is worthy of the path I'm walking. Is that burger worthy of my body, or is that salad? Is that movie worthy of my mind, or is that book? Is using a videogame babysitter worthy of my child's time, or is a trip to the zoo hand-in-hand with me? I am the captain of my soul, I steer my own course through this life. How could anything anyone might say or think about me have any consequence against my knowledge of my heart's own truth, my soul's own worth?
Friends, if your heart resonates the tone I sing here, mine sings for yours, as well! But if you know not that of which I speak, I beseech you to cease looking without, and look within. You are failing to walk your own truth, and how can you point the way to others, when you don't know where you're going, yourself?
Today, Mind Your Own Business. And what others think of you is NOT your business. Know your heart's own truth, and walk it. Walk your path with worthiness. Do yourselves proud; do your best, forget the rest! With every decision you make, ask yourself if it's worthy of who you are. And if someone else's choices catch your eye, and you find yourself wanting to criticize, remember to turn that eye inward, and ask yourself what it is that YOUR heart is missing, that makes you look elsewhere for something to criticize.
Don't Think, about others today. Just Go, on your own path!
If you're not in a good mental place right now, I know what you probably think of that quote. You probably think that he's full of shit, that nobody feels that way.
If you ARE in a good mental place, you're smiling and nodding :)
Are you the type of person who has to call your friends to find out what they're wearing tonight? Or are you the one your friends call?
Are you the type of person who has no problem ordering a water and a salad while your friends are ordering cocktails and burgers, and just smiling and laughing when they deride you for it? Or are you the one trying to bring your healthy friend down to your level by chiding them that they should "let loose once in awhile" that it's "just one drink"?
Are you a leader, or a follower? Do you raise your fellow humans up, or bring them down?
Do you mind your own business, or everyone else's?
I've often found in my life that unhappy people are obsessed with what the rest of us are doing; mainly because it takes the focus off of themselves. They don't want to sit and consider how they're making themselves miserable, so they pick other people apart. I've found that, when we're healthy, and paying attention to taking care of ourselves, we are too busy to spare a thought for what others are doing for THEMselves...and it never occurs to us to consider what they think of us, let alone to care about it!
I'm here to tell you that what you all think of me is none of my business, and I'm not the slightest bit interested in hearing it. I laugh out loud when people begin or end a sentence to me with, "No offense." That's so much more a statement about THEM than it is about ME; it implies that they would be offended by what they're about to say, so they think I would be, too. I'm nearly impossible to offend; because I really don't care what anyone else thinks. I walk my truth every day, I do myself proud, and I sleep pretty damn well at night. I demand a lot of myself mentally, physically, emotionally, socially, parentally...I've got pretty high standards. As Kent Nerburn said, “It is not our task to judge the worthiness of our path; it is our task to walk our path with worthiness.” I strive to be worthy of the life force within me every day; of the body I'm blessed with, the mind I'm gifted with, the child I'm entrusted with. Every little decision every day begins and ends with whether or not the choice I'm about to make is worthy of the path I'm walking. Is that burger worthy of my body, or is that salad? Is that movie worthy of my mind, or is that book? Is using a videogame babysitter worthy of my child's time, or is a trip to the zoo hand-in-hand with me? I am the captain of my soul, I steer my own course through this life. How could anything anyone might say or think about me have any consequence against my knowledge of my heart's own truth, my soul's own worth?
Friends, if your heart resonates the tone I sing here, mine sings for yours, as well! But if you know not that of which I speak, I beseech you to cease looking without, and look within. You are failing to walk your own truth, and how can you point the way to others, when you don't know where you're going, yourself?
Today, Mind Your Own Business. And what others think of you is NOT your business. Know your heart's own truth, and walk it. Walk your path with worthiness. Do yourselves proud; do your best, forget the rest! With every decision you make, ask yourself if it's worthy of who you are. And if someone else's choices catch your eye, and you find yourself wanting to criticize, remember to turn that eye inward, and ask yourself what it is that YOUR heart is missing, that makes you look elsewhere for something to criticize.
Don't Think, about others today. Just Go, on your own path!
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Rise and Dance!
WHEW I'm behind for this month! So sorry about that, y'all. I have a lot of ideas floating around in my head, but working five 8-hour days again is really messing with my ability to juggle my many obligations! I keep forgetting I don't have that extra weekend-day to get stuff done! :)
So, in that vein, today I wanted to discuss the conflict we all have, or believe we all have, between what we *want* in life, and what we *must do* in life. So many of us feel that achieving our dreams and meeting our obligations are mutually exclusive goals. I've talked before about people using the excuse of life and family and work and all the associated obligations as reasons not to tackle their health and fitness goals. And yet never has it been more apparent to me that putting your dreams FIRST makes it EASIER to meet your obligations. When you're happy and fulfilled, the minutiae of life is a pleasant breeze!
“Your greatest gift to others is to be happy and to radiate your happiness to the entire world.” ~Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's hard for me, at times, to make time for this blog, for propping other people up, for cheering them on, for activating the natural motivator within myself. I have lots of duties and obligations and every time I turn around I think, "I'll write the blog tonight" or "I'll put it on paper tomorrow". And then tonight/tomorrow never comes...just like the diet that will perpetually start "Monday" or the New Year's resolutions that are easier to look forward to than commit to *now*. But I notice that, just like an appetizer may spur on your hunger, so, too, does dabbling in feel-good activities (like pursuing your dreams and goals) fuel your desire and motivation to do more to achieve them! Better yet, though, they fuel your appetite for LIFE. They increase your enjoyment of your day-to-day activities and obligations, they make you feel like you're THRIVING, not just surviving. They make meeting your obligations pleasant and easy, rather than tedious and tiresome!
If life seems monotonous, like a "holding pattern", like you're just trying to get through this phase in your life; be it the "terrible two's" with your kids, or a rough time at work, or a gruelling few years of school...do the unthinkable. Set aside your obligations and pursue your dreams and goals! Go after them with zest and gusto, grab for the gold ring. Screw that you are tired and overcommitted and have "too much to do". The laundry will wait, the kids can skip a bath tonight (it won't kill them), your homework will still be there when you get back from that 30 minute run instead of the 30 minutes you were going to spend screwing around on Facebook and procrastinating your homework ANYWAY. Your job will benefit from you getting out of bed an extra half hour early for that workout...you'll have more energy and focus all day long. You'll feel better about YOURSELF, which will make you feel more competent, confident and in control. You will be thinking, "I've *got this*!"
Take this blog. This blog is me radiating my happiness to the entire world; sharing myself with you, my passions with you, my deep and ardent belief that "Your life is an occasion-RISE TO IT!" Despite the time commitment, when I just sit down and WRITE IT instead of thinking about doing it, I take such joy from it! This is me telling you that I have grabbed one of my golden rings, and behind that ring I have found the door to a thousand more, and within myself I have found the wellspring of power, of energy, of inspiration and motivation to reach for EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM! And all because one day, instead of using "surviving" as an excuse to toil wearily and meaninglessly through the days of my bleak existence, I rose to the occasion of my life! If today I seem to radiate happiness to you, consider that it is a gift to all of us; I feel like I have enough life and joy inside me to fuel the whole world, and by feeding it to you all, I replenish myself! It's like a well that can hold ever more water, so long as it is always being plumbed to slake the thirst of those in need! And this is nothing unique to me. This is the power we all have within us.
All across the world tragedies and atrocities occur, and normal people of no matter and simple means rise to the occasion of their lives, and lead their families, their communities, their fellow man. They rebel against unjustice, they tend the sick, they feed the hungry, they nourish the depleted, they defy the odds and they live their lives out loud. They are nothing more or less, no different in substance or in nature, than you and I. They simply saw a need in their lives, and without question, they ROSE TO IT.
Your life occasions may not be as dramatic as the tragedies in Syria, the starvation in third-world countries, perhaps not even as dire as serious illness, financial strain, etc. Perhaps your day to day life is much more mundane, and as such, you feel that you lack the circumstance, or the dire straits that drive average people people to act exceptionally. I'm here to tell you that this is untrue. You can be as shackled by "living the American dream" as you can be by a cruel dictator, and you can convince yourself of the helplessness and hopelessness of your situation, of the need to accept it, as much to keep that 4-bedroom house in the burbs as to keep your meagre existence in a war-torn country. We all follow the false belief we should keep our heads down, not make waves, be grateful and satisfied with and for what we already have, not wish and ask and hope for more. And yet, who does that serve? Most of us, when asked what we really dream of, would not list worldly riches. We would list the richness of experiences, of *feeling*, of the sense that we are truly LIVING our lives, THRIVING, every beat of our hearts an instrument in the symphony of the lifeforce around us, offering up a worldless prayer of joy to the heavens for our very existence, thrilling in every breath! To live a life fully realized, to seize our dreams...THAT serves EVERYONE. If we all lived that way, imagine what our world would be like! But it has to start within all of us; it's a seed we all have, that we all need to germinate and grow...it's not for others to do, it's for EVERYONE.
We radiate our happiness, and in doing so, life, big and small, becomes a breeze! Those tedious chores are done dancing to a tune our hearts sing, those odious obligations become bright sparks of gratitude for the opportunities we have, those difficult moments with cranky children become bonding opportunities as we shine our inner light down onto them and watch them respond to a happy, healthy, joyful parent instead of a tired, discouraged, cranky adult. That schoolwork ceases to be work and becomes mind-expanding opportunities to LEARN, which is WHY WE WANTED TO GET THAT DEGREE IN THE FIRST PLACE!
Folks, if you're not enjoying your children (no matter HOW challenging they are, and trust me when I say, I KNOW THAT OF WHICH I SPEAK), if you're not passionate about your work or your schooling, if you're not feeling the life and vigor in your limbs like a tree in midsummer, perhaps it's not really that any or all of those things are lacking...perhaps it's that YOU aren't LIVING-aren't reaching for your goals, aren't constantly striving for your gold ring, aren't activating the happiness within you and radiating it to the world!
The Universe will give to you what it receives from you. If you trudge through it grudgingly, it will be a wearisome place. If you dance through it joyfully, the sun will shine on you every day! The world is a friendlier, happier, more beautiful place...when you choose to reach out to it!
Have you ever noticed how, at a party, the more other people are enjoying themselves, the more YOU enjoy yourself? The happier everyone else is, the happier and more joyful YOU are? Why not be one of the people who arrive happy, and bring that happiness to everyone else? Why not be one of the people who get this party STARTED? :)
My friends, your life is an occasion, it is THE occasion, it is one long occurrence, and yet over in the blink of an eye. It can't be relived, it can only be recalled. Don't spend another day of it sitting and watching the others dancing and wishing you knew how. Stand up, walk out onto the dance floor, and move to the music! Pretty soon you'll find that NONE of us has had dancing lessons-we all just decided to let the music take us, too! The hardest step in any run is the first step you take out your door. Don't think about joining us on the dance floor anymore, just JOIN US! We all want you all out here dancing, too! The more the merrier! “Your greatest gift to others is to be happy and to radiate your happiness to the entire world.” And in so doing, you return to yourself the gift of happiness, too!
Today, my friends, set aside your duties and obligations, and reach for your dreams. Take one step towards them instead of doing the laundry. Spend 30 minutes seeking them instead of Facebooking. Indulge in half an hour of researching one of your goals instead of preparing another elaborate meal or bathing the kiddos. Your heart, your soul, your universe, will thank you...you will radiate your happiness to the world, you will feel yourself rising to the occasion of your life...unconsciously leaving your seat and joining the others on the dance floor. You will have taken the first step out the door...and you'll find the next steps flow much more naturally and easily! And miracle of miracles, you'll discover that you still have time for those duties and obligations...and they're much more pleasant, and they're dispatched much more quickly!
Don't Think, my friends. Just Go. Rise and Dance with us-the world needs your happiness today!
Lisa
So, in that vein, today I wanted to discuss the conflict we all have, or believe we all have, between what we *want* in life, and what we *must do* in life. So many of us feel that achieving our dreams and meeting our obligations are mutually exclusive goals. I've talked before about people using the excuse of life and family and work and all the associated obligations as reasons not to tackle their health and fitness goals. And yet never has it been more apparent to me that putting your dreams FIRST makes it EASIER to meet your obligations. When you're happy and fulfilled, the minutiae of life is a pleasant breeze!
“Your greatest gift to others is to be happy and to radiate your happiness to the entire world.” ~Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's hard for me, at times, to make time for this blog, for propping other people up, for cheering them on, for activating the natural motivator within myself. I have lots of duties and obligations and every time I turn around I think, "I'll write the blog tonight" or "I'll put it on paper tomorrow". And then tonight/tomorrow never comes...just like the diet that will perpetually start "Monday" or the New Year's resolutions that are easier to look forward to than commit to *now*. But I notice that, just like an appetizer may spur on your hunger, so, too, does dabbling in feel-good activities (like pursuing your dreams and goals) fuel your desire and motivation to do more to achieve them! Better yet, though, they fuel your appetite for LIFE. They increase your enjoyment of your day-to-day activities and obligations, they make you feel like you're THRIVING, not just surviving. They make meeting your obligations pleasant and easy, rather than tedious and tiresome!
If life seems monotonous, like a "holding pattern", like you're just trying to get through this phase in your life; be it the "terrible two's" with your kids, or a rough time at work, or a gruelling few years of school...do the unthinkable. Set aside your obligations and pursue your dreams and goals! Go after them with zest and gusto, grab for the gold ring. Screw that you are tired and overcommitted and have "too much to do". The laundry will wait, the kids can skip a bath tonight (it won't kill them), your homework will still be there when you get back from that 30 minute run instead of the 30 minutes you were going to spend screwing around on Facebook and procrastinating your homework ANYWAY. Your job will benefit from you getting out of bed an extra half hour early for that workout...you'll have more energy and focus all day long. You'll feel better about YOURSELF, which will make you feel more competent, confident and in control. You will be thinking, "I've *got this*!"
Take this blog. This blog is me radiating my happiness to the entire world; sharing myself with you, my passions with you, my deep and ardent belief that "Your life is an occasion-RISE TO IT!" Despite the time commitment, when I just sit down and WRITE IT instead of thinking about doing it, I take such joy from it! This is me telling you that I have grabbed one of my golden rings, and behind that ring I have found the door to a thousand more, and within myself I have found the wellspring of power, of energy, of inspiration and motivation to reach for EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM! And all because one day, instead of using "surviving" as an excuse to toil wearily and meaninglessly through the days of my bleak existence, I rose to the occasion of my life! If today I seem to radiate happiness to you, consider that it is a gift to all of us; I feel like I have enough life and joy inside me to fuel the whole world, and by feeding it to you all, I replenish myself! It's like a well that can hold ever more water, so long as it is always being plumbed to slake the thirst of those in need! And this is nothing unique to me. This is the power we all have within us.
All across the world tragedies and atrocities occur, and normal people of no matter and simple means rise to the occasion of their lives, and lead their families, their communities, their fellow man. They rebel against unjustice, they tend the sick, they feed the hungry, they nourish the depleted, they defy the odds and they live their lives out loud. They are nothing more or less, no different in substance or in nature, than you and I. They simply saw a need in their lives, and without question, they ROSE TO IT.
Your life occasions may not be as dramatic as the tragedies in Syria, the starvation in third-world countries, perhaps not even as dire as serious illness, financial strain, etc. Perhaps your day to day life is much more mundane, and as such, you feel that you lack the circumstance, or the dire straits that drive average people people to act exceptionally. I'm here to tell you that this is untrue. You can be as shackled by "living the American dream" as you can be by a cruel dictator, and you can convince yourself of the helplessness and hopelessness of your situation, of the need to accept it, as much to keep that 4-bedroom house in the burbs as to keep your meagre existence in a war-torn country. We all follow the false belief we should keep our heads down, not make waves, be grateful and satisfied with and for what we already have, not wish and ask and hope for more. And yet, who does that serve? Most of us, when asked what we really dream of, would not list worldly riches. We would list the richness of experiences, of *feeling*, of the sense that we are truly LIVING our lives, THRIVING, every beat of our hearts an instrument in the symphony of the lifeforce around us, offering up a worldless prayer of joy to the heavens for our very existence, thrilling in every breath! To live a life fully realized, to seize our dreams...THAT serves EVERYONE. If we all lived that way, imagine what our world would be like! But it has to start within all of us; it's a seed we all have, that we all need to germinate and grow...it's not for others to do, it's for EVERYONE.
We radiate our happiness, and in doing so, life, big and small, becomes a breeze! Those tedious chores are done dancing to a tune our hearts sing, those odious obligations become bright sparks of gratitude for the opportunities we have, those difficult moments with cranky children become bonding opportunities as we shine our inner light down onto them and watch them respond to a happy, healthy, joyful parent instead of a tired, discouraged, cranky adult. That schoolwork ceases to be work and becomes mind-expanding opportunities to LEARN, which is WHY WE WANTED TO GET THAT DEGREE IN THE FIRST PLACE!
Folks, if you're not enjoying your children (no matter HOW challenging they are, and trust me when I say, I KNOW THAT OF WHICH I SPEAK), if you're not passionate about your work or your schooling, if you're not feeling the life and vigor in your limbs like a tree in midsummer, perhaps it's not really that any or all of those things are lacking...perhaps it's that YOU aren't LIVING-aren't reaching for your goals, aren't constantly striving for your gold ring, aren't activating the happiness within you and radiating it to the world!
The Universe will give to you what it receives from you. If you trudge through it grudgingly, it will be a wearisome place. If you dance through it joyfully, the sun will shine on you every day! The world is a friendlier, happier, more beautiful place...when you choose to reach out to it!
Have you ever noticed how, at a party, the more other people are enjoying themselves, the more YOU enjoy yourself? The happier everyone else is, the happier and more joyful YOU are? Why not be one of the people who arrive happy, and bring that happiness to everyone else? Why not be one of the people who get this party STARTED? :)
My friends, your life is an occasion, it is THE occasion, it is one long occurrence, and yet over in the blink of an eye. It can't be relived, it can only be recalled. Don't spend another day of it sitting and watching the others dancing and wishing you knew how. Stand up, walk out onto the dance floor, and move to the music! Pretty soon you'll find that NONE of us has had dancing lessons-we all just decided to let the music take us, too! The hardest step in any run is the first step you take out your door. Don't think about joining us on the dance floor anymore, just JOIN US! We all want you all out here dancing, too! The more the merrier! “Your greatest gift to others is to be happy and to radiate your happiness to the entire world.” And in so doing, you return to yourself the gift of happiness, too!
Today, my friends, set aside your duties and obligations, and reach for your dreams. Take one step towards them instead of doing the laundry. Spend 30 minutes seeking them instead of Facebooking. Indulge in half an hour of researching one of your goals instead of preparing another elaborate meal or bathing the kiddos. Your heart, your soul, your universe, will thank you...you will radiate your happiness to the world, you will feel yourself rising to the occasion of your life...unconsciously leaving your seat and joining the others on the dance floor. You will have taken the first step out the door...and you'll find the next steps flow much more naturally and easily! And miracle of miracles, you'll discover that you still have time for those duties and obligations...and they're much more pleasant, and they're dispatched much more quickly!
Don't Think, my friends. Just Go. Rise and Dance with us-the world needs your happiness today!
Lisa
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Failure...is the ONLY option
Do you have goals?
Do you want to reach those goals?
Do you want to succeed at them?
Then prepare to fail.
I mean it. I mean, actually PREPARE for it. If you think the path to success is a straight, upward trajectory, your first setback will be your last one, because you’ll QUIT. Failure is not an option…it is the ONLY option. QUITTING is what is not an option. Remember, Today is not the day you’re going to quit. But it sure as hell might be the day you fail…just ONE of the days you’re going to fail.
Listen folks. The formula for success looks like this:
Failure^n = SUCCESS
Take getting into peak physical form, for example. It doesn’t matter where you start from, you will have setbacks.
You will fall off the diet wagon and eat pizza and ice cream.
You will cheese off of your workouts while on vacation.
You will injure yourself running and be ordered off of your feet for six weeks.
You will have a major life crisis and be unable to do anything but eat chocolate and cry for a solid month.
YOU ARE GOING TO ENCOUNTER THESE CHALLENGES. And it’s not the challenges that will derail you. It’s the failure to accept, in advance, that they’re coming, and plan for them.
So how do you plan for the unexpected? The unforeseeable? Simple.
You decide RIGHT NOW that they don’t matter, that they won’t stop you, and that the minute you’re past the weak diet moment, or the vacation lazies, or the injury or the life crisis, you will get RIGHT BACK ON THE WAGON.
That’s it. That’s all. You will decide that Today is not the day you’re going to quit, and neither is the day after any of those challenges. You’ll look forward, you’ll know they’re lurking in the shadows, you will shrug, you will turn your face to the sun and you will Keep Calm and Carry On. And when they happen, you will already know what you’re going to do.
And what you’re NOT going to do, is QUIT.
Failure is the only option, people. Building on those failures is what makes for success. Nothing worth having or doing is easy, straightforward, and without its challenges and pitfalls. The rewards are so much more than worth it, though.
So today, I want you to assess your goals, and all the ways you might fail to reach them. Accept that some of those things may happen to you. Then resolve that none of those failures and setbacks will be excuses to quit. Life really isn’t a spectator sport. If you think that, in the locker rooms, the coaches of the world aren’t showing their teams what to do if x, y or z bad thing happens in the game, you’re sadly mistaken. Why should your playbook read any differently? Failure is the only option, if you want to succeed…so bank on it, plan for it, save up your willpower and fortitude for the rainy day you know is coming…and in so doing, make your dreams a reality.
It’s the last day of nice weather for a few days, so use what daylight’s left, hit the streets and get in a good run! Don’t think about it, friends, Just GO!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Desiderata
Well, friends, how are your pants fitting this week?
If that question makes you as uncomfortable as your waistband, you’re in good company. I often find that, at times like these, when I’m dissatisfied with my physical self, when I’m failing to meet my goals, that I am often dissatisfied in all aspects of my life. One unhappy thing often brings down another until you find you’re tearing down the walls of your own house because you didn’t like the way one crooked picture was hanging. It’s a destructive cycle we have all found ourselves in.
There is a saying that we repeat all too often. “This, too, shall pass.” It’s a comforting idea, but the problem with it is that it can become far too commonplace; it can become like a chant, a mantra, of waiting for bad things to end, instead of making GOOD things BEGIN. And I often find the firmest foundation for CREATING good in your life, is recognizing the good that is already there. So today I submit to you the musings of American writer Max Ehrmann. The name of the piece is Desiderata, Latin for “desired things”. Whatever it is that you are desiring today; be it willpower, bigger muscles, smaller pants, or anything else in your world, remember that the universe is unfolding as it should. And if you are waiting for a trial to pass, do not use it as an excuse to sit idly by, imagining that the things you want from life will somehow, someday, magically fall into your lap. Rather, use this as an opportunity to plan what you’re going to do to achieve your dreams when you HAVE gotten over this hump. Hit the ground running every day, my friends. Life is a marathon, and you’re training for it, whether you know it or not. Why not embrace it? Today, my friends; ready, set, Go Without Fear! May this piece bring you calmness, gratitude, and good cheer today. Strive to be happy. Namaste!
Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Watch Me
Words to Live By