There Are Two Types

A friend of a friend who was an avid motorcyclist back in my college days once said, "There are two types of bikers; those who've gone down, and those who are going to."  The idea was crystal clear; you don't ride your bike without "putting it down" at least once.  If you're lucky, you walk away.  If you're unlucky, your first time may be your last time.  In the case of my friend, his first time was his last time, because it was almost his last ride on earth.  After his crash and 24 hours of unconsciousness, a pin in his arm, a horrific case of road rash, and a life saved by a helmet, he scrapped the bike for a car-and we all breathed a sigh of relief.

To me, however, this is a metaphor; it's not just about riding a motorcycle.  You can say this about anyone who does anything with any regularity.  And for me, it's about running.

I'd always known the day would come when I was going to fall on a run.  It was only a matter of time.  I've been running for two years now.  While I exercise 4-6 times per week, my running varies.  In the spring and fall it's almost daily, minimum of 2.5 miles.  In the winter it can be maybe only once a week or once a month, and the rest of the time I'm the hamster on the elliptical :).  Regardless, there are two types of runners; those who've gone down, and those who haven't yet.

Today I transitioned from the latter group to the former group.

Last Tuesday I ran the longest and furthest I'd ever run; 5.2 miles, 55m29s.  Today I wanted to beat that record; I wanted to run 6 miles, approximately 63 minutes at my average pace, nonstop.  It was the perfect day for it.  Low 70's outside, a light breeze, ahhhhhh.  My kind of weather!  I struck out, and on my loop took a street I'd never run.  Halfway down it, the sidewalks disappeared and I was left to run on the shoulder.  Now, those of you who know me know how cautious I am about running.  I like to run on flat, even, level, predictable surfaces.  Not because I have weak ankles (come ON I wear 6" heels all day every day!), not because I can't run on an incline (although it's true, I hate to) but because uneven surfaces = unsure footfalls.  And unsure footfalls = turned ankles.  And turned ankles = 6 weeks on your ass while you recover.  And Lisa does NOT do recuperation gracefully.  So, I was trotting along the shoulder at an easy pace, saving my stamina, about two miles into my run, when sure enough, I landed poorly with my left foot. 

When I was a kid in gymnastics (it was brief, believe me) one of the first lessons we were taught was that when you fall, you should "go loose".  This is why neither small children nor drunks are easily injured in car accidents; they don't have the reflex responses to tense up, which causes more damage than the impact itself.  They're loose.  The minute I felt my ankle give to the left, I let both knees buckle (loose!) and dropped purposefully to my right knee.  I hadn't even hit the ground and I was wondering how much damage I'd done to my ankle.  My boss later commented that the first thing she thinks when she falls was, "WHO SAW THAT?"  It took me a full two minutes to even consider the existence of others.  All I could think about was how bad my ankle might be and whether or not I'd be out for the training season. 

The funny thing about us panicky, high-anxiety types is that, when there's a REAL emergency, we are the coolest mofo's you'll ever meet.  We are literally, constantly in contingency planning mode, so when the real shit hits the fan, we are completely unruffled.  We live our lives PLANNING for this shit.  Roughly sixty seconds after my fall, as I sat gripping my ankle, it occurred to me to stop my stopwatch.  At about the same time my mind divided; there was the worried part freaking about my training, and then there was The Overlord.  The Overlord is the emotionless biotch that kicks in when all hell is breaking loose.  Over the low murmur of my worries she said in an authoritative yet bored voice, "You're FINE.  Check for swelling.  And for pete's sake, quit WHINING."  I pulled both ankles together and did a visual check; they seemed ok.  I pressed into the sore spot on the left ankle, then the corresponding part on the right.  Definite early signs of swelling on the left.  "Get up.  Stretch it.  MOVE.  Don't let it swell." The Overlord intoned.  I got up.  I extended my leg and did ankle circles.  At roughly THIS point it occurred to me that I was a mile from my office with no cell phone, and no one had stopped (gee, did anyone see me fall?   They HAD to have this is a busy street!  Man people are rude!).  I was going to have to walk anyway.  And then my divided mind reconvened; "Do you think I can run on it?" "There's one way to find out, isn't there?" "Let's walk a block."  So I walked.  It wasn't too terrible.  I could feel the pull.  Luckily, for other symptoms I'd taken some ibuprofen before my run.  I reached Sloan's Lake Park, and thought, "Well, you've got 23 minutes on the clock.  You have 40 left to go to meet your goal.  Your energy is great, and you seem to have full range of motion.  What have we got to lose?"  I broke into a trot, somewhat like a dog on a leisurely little jog or a horse cantering.  I felt little darts of discomfort, but nothing horrible.  My stride was definitely affected, but I could run.  But how far?

And that, my friends, is the moral of today's story.  Because there are two types of runners; those who have gone down, and those who are going to.  And there are two types of fallen runners; those who walk home, and those who walk it off, and finish their run.

And there are two types of runners who resume their run; those who compromise, and those who refuse.

And I refuse.

I clocked in my run at 63m18s.  One or two of those minutes was spent sitting on the sidewalk though :)  I ran 5.8 miles, so over my normal average pace, even if you knock 2 minutes off the time, but hey...

How fucking fast can YOU run with a turned ankle?

Better yet...would you have run it at all?

So the next time you're faced with a challenge, ask yourself; "In this situation, there are Two Types of responders; which type am I?  Am I the type who limps home, or am I the type who perseveres?"  Then actively choose to persevere.

As I wrap up this post, I'm sitting in my office, leg elevated, bag o' peas on the somewhat swollen ankle, getting ready to take some more ibuprofen for bed.  It's tender, and it'll need a *little* TLC, but if I rest it well tomorrow, by Thursday I'll be recommissioned :)

The moral of this story is not, by the way, to be stupid, and push yourself beyond your limits.  You DO have to know your body and listen to it.  If I couldn't have walked, I wouldn't have tried to run, and if I tried to run and was suffering horrible agonizing pain...I'd've walked home.

But you never know what you can do until you try!

Today, find out which group you fall into.  Try something you never imagined before.  You may just surprise yourself.  Don't ask yourself if you can.  Don't Think about doing it.  Just Go.

And afterward-RICE! ;)

MYOB!

Ronald Reagan once said, "What other people think of me is none of my business."

If you're not in a good mental place right now, I know what you probably think of that quote.  You probably think that he's full of shit, that nobody feels that way.

If you ARE in a good mental place, you're smiling and nodding :)

Are you the type of person who has to call your friends to find out what they're wearing tonight?  Or are you the one your friends call?

Are you the type of person who has no problem ordering a water and a salad while your friends are ordering cocktails and burgers, and just smiling and laughing when they deride you for it?  Or are you the one trying to bring your healthy friend down to your level by chiding them that they should "let loose once in awhile" that it's "just one drink"?

Are you a leader, or a follower?  Do you raise your fellow humans up, or bring them down?

Do you mind your own business, or everyone else's?

I've often found in my life that unhappy people are obsessed with what the rest of us are doing; mainly because it takes the focus off of themselves.  They don't want to sit and consider how they're making themselves miserable, so they pick other people apart.  I've found that, when we're healthy, and paying attention to taking care of ourselves, we are too busy to spare a thought for what others are doing for THEMselves...and it never occurs to us to consider what they think of us, let alone to care about it!

I'm here to tell you that what you all think of me is none of my business, and I'm not the slightest bit interested in hearing it.  I laugh out loud when people begin or end a sentence to me with, "No offense."  That's so much more a statement about THEM than it is about ME; it implies that they would be offended by what they're about to say, so they think I would be, too.  I'm nearly impossible to offend; because I really don't care what anyone else thinks.  I walk my truth every day, I do myself proud, and I sleep pretty damn well at night.  I demand a lot of myself mentally, physically, emotionally, socially, parentally...I've got pretty high standards.  As Kent Nerburn said, “It is not our task to judge the worthiness of our path; it is our task to walk our path with worthiness.”  I strive to be worthy of the life force within me every day; of the body I'm blessed with, the mind I'm gifted with, the child I'm entrusted with.  Every little decision every day begins and ends with whether or not the choice I'm about to make is worthy of the path I'm walking.  Is that burger worthy of my body, or is that salad?  Is that movie worthy of my mind, or is that book?  Is using a videogame babysitter worthy of my child's time, or is a trip to the zoo hand-in-hand with me?  I am the captain of my soul, I steer my own course through this life.  How could anything anyone might say or think about me have any consequence against my knowledge of my heart's own truth, my soul's own worth?

Friends, if your heart resonates the tone I sing here, mine sings for yours, as well!  But if you know not that of which I speak, I beseech you to cease looking without, and look within.  You are failing to walk your own truth, and how can you point the way to others, when you don't know where you're going, yourself?

Today, Mind Your Own Business.  And what others think of you is NOT your business.  Know your heart's own truth, and walk it.  Walk your path with worthiness.  Do yourselves proud; do your best, forget the rest!  With every decision you make, ask yourself if it's worthy of who you are.  And if someone else's choices catch your eye, and you find yourself wanting to criticize, remember to turn that eye inward, and ask yourself what it is that YOUR heart is missing, that makes you look elsewhere for something to criticize.

Don't Think, about others today.  Just Go, on your own path!