Strength and your 4 Spheres

In the past 12 weeks I have become increasingly aware of 4 major spheres that are layered throughout our lives, that we move between in all we see and think and feel and do, every moment of every day.  They are Mental, Physical, Emotional and Spiritual.  In one way or another, when we connect with people and the world around us, we do so within at least one of these four spheres; sometimes deeply, sometimes more superficially.  For example, for me, when I go on a run in the park, I am connecting with my body Physically, and I am experiencing the world around me Spiritually, and I am immersed in myself, Mentally.  When I am having a heartfelt conversation with a friend, I am connecting with them Emotionally and Mentally.  And every time I experience a challenge in one of these four spheres, something that forces me to grow or that alters my preconceptions about life and causes me to re-examine how I approach it, I find that the challenge I experience is, almost always, primarily experienced first Mentally. 

Take, for example, my Crossfit workout this morning.  As I checked the website for yesterday's WOD, and saw the hell-in-a-gym-setting workout they'd endured, I mentally told myself that, if TODAY'S workout looked that way, I was TOTALLY SKIPPING THAT MOTHERFUCKER.  No.  Fucking.  Way.  I know; cowardly.  Today I looked at the workout and, though apprehensive at the moves, I saw that it was only 15 minutes long.  I immediately remembered two things a good friend of mine told me.  The first was, "Anyone can tolerate anything for a finite period of time."  The other was, "I can do anything!  It might hurt, and I might have to walk, but I can do anything."  So...I had to mod two of the four moves, for sure, but I modded them, I never quit moving, and I totally pulled it off.  As a matter of fact, I kinda wish the workout had been longer!  But that was wonderful; it gives me the confidence to try again next weekend!  So what's the lesson here?  The challenge was a Physical one, but the difficulty was all in my head; Mental. 

Now take, for example, my personal life.  Oh, people, I haven't got the space to fill you all in on it here, and the fodder for gossip it would provide for you all would doubtlessly fill your holiday gatherings with endless topics of conversation!  Suffice it to say, I am exceptionally good at choosing hard roads for myself.  Go big or go home, right?  Fuck.  At any rate, this weekend was yet another challenge, in the Emotional sphere...and I sought out my friends for help.  Because again, the primary challenge was Mental.  Someone, please, get me out of my own head. 

Fortunately, I am blessed with some fucking *amazing* people in my life.  As I reached out for help; as I begged my friends for perspective, objectivity, and centering, a friend of mine shot me the following:

"You've more than got this, you're the goddamn author of it!  You are a force of nature....  You're the captain of your own soul....  Don't forget it.  'Strong is what is left after the weak is all gone.'  Even in our weakness, we are honing our own strength."

I'm telling you, if you don't have friends like this...you need to get yourself out there and get yourselves some.

I find the people I need and enjoy having in my life the most are those who inspire me in each of the four spheres; even if Physically or Spiritually we may have very different objectives or priorities, it is important to me that they provide me with a perspective that I respect and admire, whether it meshes with mine or not.  It is equally important to me that my friends live purposefully in each of the 4 spheres; that they have a clear idea of how they want to steer their ship in each of those winds, and that they consciously strive to stay their own chosen moral course.  This is not to say that I value rigidity in my friends; quite the opposite.  I find it to be an invaluable character trait in a person, to recognize when they have taken a wrong road, to admit it, to themselves and others, with strength of character and without guilt or shame, and to turn their ship around and head for their own true North.  We need people like these in our lives.  They provide wonderful role models for us; they show us how to live our own lives by knowing the way, going the way and showing the way.

I am so very conscious of my 4 spheres, and how I choose to live within them.  And I'm so very conscious of how the choices I've made over the last 3 years have led me down a very hard road; a path rarely traveled, but a path that, looking back, had I known what it would cost me and yet what it would deliver me, I would never have chosen any differently.

Three years ago I considered myself cowardly.  I now know Courage.

Three years ago I considered myself lost on my own life's path...indeed, I did not know when I had last followed a path of my own purposeful choosing.  I now know Purpose, I now have Direction.

Three years ago I had no faith in myself.  I now Know Myself, and I now know Self Assurance.

Three years ago I couldn't see the good and beauty in the world around me, in the people in my life, and most especially in myself.  I now know Gratitude...and it moves me to tears every single day.

Three years ago, I didn't know what love was, for myself, or anyone else.  I have now experienced Love, Respect and Adoration in such quality and quantity, I have literally felt my heart expand to hold it all. 

Three years ago, in all four spheres, I felt only weakness.  I now know Strength.

Every day, in each of our 4 spheres, we choose our paths.  Our morality is tied to our direction in each of these 4 spheres.  The further off course we allow our ships to sail in these four winds, the more off-center we become, the more we lose all sense of selves, the more our moral compass drifts away from our true North.  But it is never too late to turn back on a wrong road.  It is never too late to turn this ship around.

Three years ago, I turned back on 30 years' worth of wrong roads, and chose a new one for myself.  A frightening road, an unknown road, a road that was uncharted and unmapped.  I chose it only because my heart and spirit begged me to...and feeling so sick to my soul, I did the only thing left; I finally listened.  Three months ago, I did the same thing all over again.  And then again two weeks ago.  And now I challenge myself to do so, every single day.

I have never considered myself a gambling woman, but I have found that, where my heart and spirit agree, I lay aside my Mental fears, and follow my heart and spirit, no matter the risk or gamble.  They have never yet failed to lead me to my own true North, though the path may wind, and the challenges along the way may not be what I expect, nor lead the way I anticipate.  In the face of all of my challenges, I find my Mental sphere is always the first to feel the crosswinds, and to provide me the greatest difficulty in holding true to my chosen course.  If I can just hold steady, if I can just keep the faith, brace myself, lean into it, then when the gales give way, I find I have made it further than I thought likely, in less time than I believed possible, and I find sailing through the rest of the spheres positively breezy, by comparison!

I don't know, any more than the rest of you, where the rest of my life will take me, largely because I do not know what choices lie ahead of me, and where my own true North will be found.  What I do know is that I've got this, I'm the author of it.  I am the captain of my own soul, I steer my four ships in the four winds; *I* am a force of nature, and even in my moments of weakness, I am honing my own Strength.  And I know one other thing, too.  I know that, after every challenge I face, when the fear is gone, when the pain is over, when the crying is done...when the weak has left me...

Strong is what I will have left, and Strong is what, and who, I will have become.

Today my friends, take back the wheels of your life's own ships.  Turn back on your wrong roads.  Quiet your minds, still your thoughts, and listen for your heart and your spirit to call to you.  Then brace yourselves for the Mental onslaught; lean into your fears and stay your courses.  Be the captain your soul begs you to be, for yourselves.  And know that, no matter what shores those challenges deliver you to, they will be ones on which you belong, ones that you have finally chosen for yourself, rather than letting life's crosswinds blow your sails wherever chance may take you.  Know, too, that when you disembark, you will instantly feel it in your limbs; weakness will have left you, and what will remain, is Strength.

Don't Think; it creates Mental challenges.  Just Go, and today, run into the wind!  It's the harder direction to take...but it will blow away the Weak, and when you return home, you will know your own Strength.

Battening down the Hatches-
Lisa

Week 6: Be Kinder Than Necessary

Sometimes, my job is hard.  Sometimes, leading by example is a heavy responsibility.  Because sometimes, I fall short.

Last week…well honestly it kind of sucked for me.  For our agency's Wellness Challenge, we count minutes per week that we've worked out, and we multiply it by a factor of 1, 2 or 3 for intensity level of the workout to get total points.  My numbers last week dropped by almost *half* of what I did in my first week.  My minimum in a week would be 285 minutes at level 3, or 855 points.  My goal is 345 minutes at level 3, or 1035 points.  I dialed in a whopping 780 points for last week.  Yeeeeuck.  For me, those numbers suck.

So the reason my numbers tanked last week is that a war was waging in my mind and heart, and I had no spirit left in me for my workouts.  In the middle of that week, a friend of mine shared with me this quote by James M. Barrie (the author of Peter Pan); ”Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.”  I was struck by how true this is, because as I posted my troubles on Facebook to my closest friends, I was deluged with responses.  Some of the sunniest, brightest sparks I know, some of the most inspiringly upbeat and irrepressible spirits I have ever encountered, were fighting or had recently fought quiet, agonizing battles of their own.   And I realized; it was those battles that made those people into the types of people I admired so much.  I was sent so many stories of empathy, of courage, of solidarity; of the resilience of the human spirit, of trials and triumph, of hard-fought wars that took place quietly and privately inside the hearts and minds and spirits of so many people I would never have guessed it from.  We’re all fighting battles, we’re all carrying scars, we are all war-weary warriors trudging our own personal trail of tears, in *some* area of our lives, at *some* point, and so as you look around, you begin to realize that the odds are that everyone you know has fought some great battle quietly and privately in the time that you have known them.  And you probably don’t know a thing about it.

The day after I read that quote (sent to me by a friend who shared her story with me; the most incredible of any that I had read), another friend posted the following:  “View your life with ‘kindsight’; Stop beating yourself up about things from your past.  Instead of slapping your forehead and asking: ‘What was I THINKING?’  Breathe and ask yourself the kinder question: ‘What was I LEARNING?’”  I was reminded that I needed to listen to my heart, to follow my soul, irrespective of anyone and everyone else; I was reminded that I could not help or take care of anyone else, if I could not first feel compassion and empathy for myself; if I could not put myself, my needs, my feelings, my heart and spirit first.  If I could not look back on things that I had done in my past with kindness, and forgive myself for the mistakes I had made, then I could never gather courage to myself, and would never move forward on the right path.  If I take it upon myself to lead you all, inspirationally, on the path to Wellness, how can I know the way and show the way, if I myself do not go the way? 

It is not only incredibly easy to forget that everyone around you is a spirit having a human experience, and that these human experiences are not always pleasant ones, but it is incredibly easy to forget that YOU, YOURSELVES are human, and to expect too much from yourselves.  To be cruel to yourself instead of kind, to forget to empathize with yourself, to forget to put yourself first.  In our modern society this is so often mistaken for selfishness, but there is this piece of conventional wisdom that runs counter-intuitive to that supposition; “A family is only as happy as its unhappiest member.”  If who you are, if what you do, if what you live, is untrue to your heart and soul, you are miserable, and no one around you can be any happier than you are, either.  So self-sacrifice is not only an irresponsible thing to do, it is a damaging thing to do; to you, and everyone around you.

I have written to you all about Courage, Fear and Personal Honesty.  I have written to you all about having Nothing to Lose, about Believing in Yourselves.  Now I must write to you all about the Battles you are waging or have waged in your mind, heart and soul, and about how you are not giving yourselves the kindness and understanding and support you need.  I am compelled to explain to you all how denying yourself physical wellness, happiness and self-care is not only hurting you, but hurting everyone around you.  I must write to you about how we often tell ourselves that changing what food we eat will upset our children, or changing our routine to work out will put hardships on the family, when in reality, not doing these things is doing a great injustice, a great wrong, a great disservice to everyone you love.  By putting yourself last, you permanently back-burner the happiness of everyone around you.  There is no such thing as a miserable leader tending a happy and thriving following; think about it.  Feelings flow down; emotions radiate and permeate.  One bad apple spoils the whole bunch, whether it means to, wants to, or not.  If you want to lead your family to happiness, you must know the way, go the way and show the way.

Hardy Jackson wrote, “Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.”  Clark Moustakas said, “Accept everything about yourself—I mean everything.  You are you, and that is the beginning and the end, no apologies, no regrets.”  Pope John XXIII said, “Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams.  Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential.   Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.”  And Janis Joplin said, “Don’t compromise yourself.  You are all you’ve got.”

My friends, my peers, my coworkers; my fellow spirits having a human experience; Be Kinder to Yourselves than You Think Necessary.  Allow yourselves your hurts, your sadness, your frustrations; admit to yourselves your disappointments, your fears, your hopes (no matter how futile they may seem!) and your dreams (no matter how wild they may appear!).  Embrace who you are, Know Thyself, be honest with all it is that you want and need and hope for, for yourself.  Allow those thoughts to fill you up, feel the freedom of letting yourself want and need, as you would want your friends, your family, your significant other, your children, to feel!  Consult not your fears, and Don’t compromise yourself.  And If you cannot put your heart into it, then take yourself out of it. 

I know all of you personally as much as I need to, in order to tell every last one of you, that none of your hopes is foolish, none of your dreams is unachievable, that everything you want for yourself is out there for the taking, you need only allow yourself to reach for it.  There is no failure, if you never try, but there is no learning, and no success, either.  You all have the right to bad days, to bad weeks, to bad months and years.  You all have the right to wage your own internal battles, to be vulnerable, to hurt, and to slip, trip, tumble, fall.  You have the right to be imperfect, you have the right to be human, you have the right to fear and doubt.  But let yourselves.  Stop trying to lie and tell yourself, “I’m fine just the way I am” when deep inside you know you are starving your soul for what it wants; to do right by yourself, to give yourself health, wellness, happiness.  It never comes at a price or cost to those around you, as you fear it will.  It *always* comes as a benefit, first to yourself, and then to them.  Emotions radiate, feelings flow down. 

Allow yourself, today, to be honest with yourself about everything you want from life, and yet resist reaching out for.  After her terrible ordeal with domestic violence, and her recovery, the artist Rhianna said (of opening up about her experiences to her fans); "There's freedom in honesty.  If you just face it today, tomorrow you can move on to something else."  Allow yourselves the personal freedom that honesty will afford you.  It takes Personal Honesty and Courage to overcome Fear, and to Be Kinder To Yourselves Than Necessary, you must overcome your Fears of what that will cause your life to look like. Remember, “Fear is a question: What are you afraid of, and why? Just as the seed of health is in illness, because illness contains information, our fears are a treasure house of self-knowledge if we explore them.”  --Marilyn Ferguson

Christopher Robin once said to Winnie the Pooh, “Always remember you are braver than you believe, you are stronger than you seem, you are smarter than you think.” 

You are, too.

My friends, go forward today, and allow yourselves to hope and dream.  Enter into this week knowing that Your Life is Beginning.  Face your Fears, and grant yourselves freedom from them, that you may move on to something else tomorrow.  Something better.  I know that every last one of you has it in you to fully realize your potential.  Never question yourselves or waiver in your belief in yourselves, nor prevent yourselves from taking center stage, first priority.  An ill doctor cannot tend his patients, a starving mother cannot succor her infant, a wounded commander cannot lead his troops. 

It is never too late to become who you might have been.

Today, I do want you to think…just about yourself, what you want from life. 

And I want you to go out…and take it.

Remembering to be Kinder to Myself than I think Necessary today-

Lisa

Week 2: Try Something New!

One of my favorite things to do on my Fridays off when it’s cool out is head down to Sloan’s Lake and go for a nice jog!  I had fully planned on that this weekend, when I got the invitation to join a friend on Saturday for a trail run, instead!

Let me just tell you, I do not consider myself a runner.  The furthest I’ve ever run is 5 miles, my normal max is 3, and I average around a 10 minute mile…on a good day.  For those of you who also don’t run, that’s really more of a jog J  I’ve never run an organized race of any kind, and prefer not to turn it into a competition.  My jogs are truly a communing with nature, just an enjoyment of being physical, and I’ve never wanted to turn that into anything else!  So, to be honest, while I was looking forward to trying something new with the trail run, I was also slightly apprehensive.

First, I hate feeling “unfit” again.  I spent the first 2/3rds of my life “skinny-fat”, and the last third being pretty heavy, so these last couple of years have been an entirely new and wonderful experience for me, being physically fit!  So when I try something new, I’m always afraid of feeling weak again.  It’s a feeling I don’t readily want to return to, for any reason!  Second, this run was partly uphill.  Let me tell you, it is very much an ingrained habit of mine to take the path of least resistance, and an UPHILL run is as MUCH resistance as you can POSSIBLY put in a path (and then there was the added challenge of LOOSE ROCK and BOULDERS to leap among; a lunar field, I believe my friend so aptly described it as!).  So I was really questioning my ability to do the run AT ALL, let alone KEEP UP!  But novelty absolutely won out, and one of the things becoming fit has taught me is never be afraid; to go without fear in all things in life!  As I like to tell my son when he doesn’t want to try a new food, “You’d never know how much you love lemon meringue pie, if you’d refused to try it once!”  So, in the hopes that this would be closer to lemon meringue pie than, say, liver, I gamely went along!

It was just over an hour, and 4.3 miles of oh-my-gosh-I-am-not-used-to-this!  Of all the bizarre things that hurt on me after that run, it’s the outside of my lower calves!  There are some pretty great opportunities to break or twist your ankle on that run, and me being the consummate klutz, such was absolutely NOT out of the realm of possibility for me!  I did roll my ankles lightly a few times but managed not to biff it completely (much to my running partner’s relief, I think!), and the added taxes on my calves showed up in the form of some pretty good soreness that has lasted well into today, 48 hours later!  Walking in heels today actually DOES kinda hurt, for all of you who are always asking me that question J

The other thing I learned was that holy crap, there are different ways to develop your quads, and I am *seriously* lacking in what I’ll call the “launching points”; the part of your quad just above the kneecap that literally puts the spring in your step.  I had erroneously believed, up until Saturday, that springing was mainly calf-work.  Oh my, no, your quads are very involved, and mine have some work to do to get up to speed!  I considered stationary biking while standing for fast intervals; my friend suggested treadmill sprints at the highest incline, run on my toes.  I considered pushing my friend off of the overlook we were standing on!  J

So today my advice to all of you is, go out and try something new this week.  I have to say, once I got halfway through the run and realized it wasn’t nearly as bad as I feared it would be, I was totally exhilarated and completely stoked to finish the run, and to try it again one day soon!  I can completely see making such a run a regular part of my exercise repertoire, and it is so good to do something with my body that challenges it in new ways.  Challenge creates growth, and growth is something we all need to experience in our lives for maximum health and enjoyment!  It was also good to try working out with a friend; I tend to be a loner in my workouts, and I was surprised how much I enjoyed getting to share my workout with someone else!  So if you’re normally a groupie, go it alone!  And if you’re normally a loner, grab a running buddy and hit the trails!  Literally!

Wishing all of you a fantastically challenging and enlightening week, as you continue your personal Wellness Journeys!  Remember, when it comes time for your workout today, and you’re mentally enumerating all the reasons to avoid it, Don’t Think; Just GO!

Week 3; Believe In Yourself!

This week I’d like to talk to you all about Believing In Yourself.  As with all things in life, I can best relate to your experiences through my own, and to do that, I need to give you a little background history. 

So, in the spring of 2009  I found myself in an unpleasant place.

I was the dreaded 3-0, and staring down the barrel of 31 in a few months, and I was faced with the grim fact that I was not who I thought I’d be at this age and stage of my life.  I was 65lbs overweight, I had chronic back pain, a genetic arthritic condition in my knees that was worsening, no energy, and a really negative, unenthusiastic outlook on life.

For those of you who’ve worked with me for my 10 years at the agency, you could probably look back at that time and recognize that I was really at a low point in my life.  For those of you who only know Lisa Roebuck post-2010, you probably have a hard time imagining it.  I get a lot of people telling me that folks don’t want to sign up for the Wellness Challenge because they’re intimidated by the level of fitness that some of the participants, like myself, have.  They get the impression that this is a challenge for fitness buffs and enthusiasts, for gym rats, for the kind of people they assume that I am.

And I have to tell you, it’s both flattering and surreal, because up until two and a half years ago the most weight I’d ever lifted was probably a 10lb sack of flour while I was baking holiday cookies!  I’d never run A LAP AROUND A GYMNASIUM, let alone a mile, or a 5k.  I’d never held a gym membership.  I’d never been physically fit or active.  I was never involved in sports or things of that nature.  When I was young, I was “skinny-fat”; that kind of soft, flabby build that’s genetically blessed to maintain a small size…until life and age creep up on you! 

Folks, when I started dieting (for the umpteenth time, it seemed) and working out that spring, I felt discouraged and desperate.  I didn’t feel like I could make the change; I didn’t feel like I would ever be FIT.  I was just hoping to lose SOME weight.  I think I honestly viewed myself as a lost cause, without consciously acknowledging those feelings!  And I’m betting that lots of you know exactly the feeling I’m talking about, either in your past, or in your current state.

I didn’t get where I am today by anything short of feeling I had nothing to lose, and giving it my all in a last-ditch effort.  I’d call it more desperation than anything else!  And while that’s one way to get here, it’s not the path I’d recommend.  It’s a lousy place to start from, completely bottom-of-the-hill, and you’re causing yourself an extra mental climb.

Because, guys, if *I* could do this, YOU CAN DO THIS!  I don’t care what your physical state is today or how long you’ve been in it, you are a statue waiting to be carved.  You are the marble from which a great work is waiting to emerge!  You are not a lost cause; rather, you are a cause waiting to be championed, and you really need to be that champion FOR YOURSELVES.

A friend shared a quote with me today, and I believe in it to the very core of who I am.  I can relate to this with every fiber of my being.  The quote is:  “Believe in yourself and all that you are.  Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.” – Christian D. Larson

Give yourselves a chance.  Don’t look at people like me and make the assumptions that somehow we’re genetically gifted or lucky to have taken care of our health or any of that crap.  More fit people today were fat people yesterday than you can possibly imagine!  The only thing standing in your way are all the thoughts in your head telling you who you aren’t, who you can’t be.  They’re obstacles you’re throwing into your own path.  And you are greater than any obstacle.

Every day in our lives, every minute, we make choices.  And every choice we make flows into the next one; at any  point we can make a bad flow of choices STOP, and turn them into a good flow. 

This week I’m spending 4 days in Las Vegas.  In the middle of the Wellness Challenge.  Talk about taking on my own personal challenge!  But I can tell you this.  Every day I wake up, I’ll have the choice whether or not to work out that day.  Every meal that I eat, I’ll have the choice to choose between hamburgers and salads, steak and steamed fish, French fries and raw vegetables.  I have the same choices, every day, that all of you have.  Sometimes I make good ones, sometimes I make bad ones.  The only obstacles I have to overcome are my own mental ones; really, is a burger in Vegas any better than a burger in Denver, and really, why is having one such a big deal anyway?  I’ll feel way better, physically, if I eat the salad!  And really, if I were home, I’d be working out, why not in Vegas? 

We run into obstacles every single day-all of us!  We are not just equal to them, we are greater than them.  Today, folks, take a good hard look at what’s standing in between you and your goals, whatever they may be, and remind yourself; YOU CAN DO THIS!  BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND ALL THAT YOU ARE! 

Wishing for all of you great mental strength, as you enter this third week of the challenge, and faith in yourselves, as you begin the first day of the rest of your lives!  Go out there today and get yourselves some, and remember, when it all seems too hard, when it seems you just can’t bring it today, stop thinking, and JUST GO!

Week 4, Post 1; Lean Into It!

I have a great group of friends, cheerleaders, inspirational role models and accountability buddies of my own.  We all need them.  No man (or woman!) is an island and I can tell you now; the greater the group I surround myself with, the easier it is to stay the course, or get back on track, or crank up the effort.

But that doesn’t mean some days/weeks/months aren’t just *hard*.  That doesn’t mean doubt doesn’t creep in; doubt in my commitment, my ability, my willpower.  It’s times like those, when you’re foundering, when you’re really struggling for somewhere to pull it out of, that it’s most important not to take a step back and reassess.  No, at times like these, when the shit is hitting the fan, when the going is getting tough, when you know it’s going to hurt, you need to take a step forward and LEAN INTO IT, BABY.

Here comes the wave!  LEAN INTO IT!  Curve ahead!  LEAN INTO IT!  We’re about to crash; brace yourselves, people, and LEAN INTO IT!

Listen, friends.  Today is not the day you’re going to quit.  Ok, fine, let’s say you’ve really blown it so far and haven’t worked out once.  Why does that mean you can’t start HERE, NOW?  Why do 21 days of successive failures (which we are going to call LEARNING EXPERIENCES, let’s keep that in mind-a failure is just practice for success!) mean that all of the next 21 days have to be failures, too?  Why can’t today be the day things change?  Remember, Today is the first day of the rest of your life; use it WISELY!  You’re driving this bus, folks!  TAKE THE WHEEL!

Every day we get up is a choice we make.  I mean, literally, we make the choice just to get out of bed!  Some people can’t even do that much, they’re so paralyzed by despair!  We get up, we do our duties, we come into work, and we make choices all along the way, every second of every day.  What to wear, what to eat, what to say, what to feel, what to think about…it’s tough!  We have so much freedom, so many opportunities to make mistakes, it can be overwhelming and exhausting!  But those are also opportunities to do ourselves proud; they are opportunities to lean into the hard times, brace ourselves and suck it up, it’s going to hurt but we’ll be so glad it did!  You know what they say; anything worth having is worth fighting for!  Well, anything worth having usually requires fighting for! 

There are all sorts of inspirational quotes surrounding this idea; “Pain is weakness leaving the body”, “A coward dies a thousand deaths; the brave die but once”.  This is all about mental courage, people.  The only thing standing in your way, the only thing you’re bracing yourself for, is the idea of the pain; the idea of how hard it will be to say no to that piece of cake and yes to that damn workout.  Trust me, I fight inner struggles every day SO MUCH WORSE than the 2 minutes of dead lifts I’m going to do later on today, or the 12 minutes of sit-ups, or the minute of bicycle crunches that I CAN’T STAND.  There are days when I look at how much mental energy I put into avoiding the workout and think that I literally could have done the workout TEN TIMES in the amount of time it took me to dread it. 

Granted, those days are few and far between for me, nowadays.  My struggle is usually with food choices-you wouldn’t believe the things I can say to myself to talk myself into/out of a bad food choice!  The energy I expend is ridiculous.  Some of you will struggle with something else entirely; quitting smoking, overcoming the fear of the gym, etc.  Whatever it is, guys, just remember; it’s really not the thing you’re dreading.  It’s the IDEA of the thing.  And just like anything else, the more time you spend AVOIDING the thing you’re dreading, the harder it becomes to face!  The monster gets bigger the longer you fear that closet door!  And who wants to live in fear?  Screw that, guys, come on; OPEN THAT DOOR!  LEAN INTO IT!

So don’t step back.  Don’t reassess.  Don’t spend ONE MORE DAMN MINUTE OF YOUR LIFE THINKING ABOUT IT.  LEAN INTO IT, BABY!  As I always like to say, Don’t THINK, just GO.  You’ll be around that curve before you know it, unscathed, and the next one will be that much easier, and the next, and the next, until looking back, all you see is the line of successes that your “failures” have earned you.

So congratulations to all of you, for making it this far, no matter how well or how poorly you have done.  You signed up, and that in and of itself is more than 5/6^th of the agency even dared to do!  We are all on our OWN journey, at our OWN pace.  Know yourselves, know your place, feel your courage, know you are greater than any obstacle, lean into the hard times, and own your future.

Best of luck to you all; get out there and get yourselves some today!

With you all in spirit-

Lisa

Week 4, Post 2: Nothing to Lose-In Honor of Steve Jobs

Every day I hear things and read things and see things that inspire me.  This week, I’ve seen/heard at least two that have really grabbed me.  I thought I would pass them along, to those of you needing the continued boost.

The first was part of a blog post:

Get off the page, out of your box.

Be creative and bold and dance the dance of your life with wild abandon...

Like you've got nothing to lose.

Paint the canvas of your life liberally, generously,

With a flourish or whilst poring over every detail, but do it:

Like you've got nothing to lose.

Sing the song of your life with all the emotional color you can muster,

Every shade and nuance at your disposal.

Spare nothing and no-one, like

You've got nothing to lose.

 

Because really,

You have nothing to lose.

I thought this was beautifully phrased, but most importantly, illustrative of the fact that you never have anything to lose by trying your hardest.  You will never have anything to lose by putting your health first.  You will never have anything to lose by starting a diet or exercise program.  You will never have anything to lose by failing, and trying again, and repeating the process until you succeed.  Success is just the product of Failure to the nth degree; Everyone fails until they succeed.  Period.

Which brings me to the second striking thing that I heard about this week.  As you probably all know by now, Steve Jobs, founder and CEO (up until very recently when he stepped down due to his failing health) of Apple, finally succumbed to cancer yesterday.  As a person in the technological field, this strikes me, because love or hate Apple products (and honestly, by and large I *loathe* them, although I do own an iPhone), Steve Jobs is a legend.  An honest-to-god, up until yesterday walking-around-in-broad-daylight legend, in his own time.  Steve Jobs was so much more than just a visionary; Steve Jobs LIVED the ideals of Nothing to Lose, No Fear, NO REGRETS.  That man fell, personally and professionally, all the way to rock bottom, and climbed his way back up every time.  I won’t even say he *clawed* his way back up.  That wasn’t his way.  Steve Jobs knew that every uphill climb started with a single step, and he never sat at the bottom of the cliff face, staring up the sheer wall, wondering how the hell he’d ever get back up there or bemoaning how far he’d climbed, and fallen, and would now have to climb again.  Steve Jobs *knew* that he’d see the bottom of that cliff over and over again, and that each time, he’d have learned something very important that would get him higher *next* time.  Steve Jobs knew the importance of Failure, that Failure^{^n} = Success.  He knew he had something in him that was greater than any obstacle, and he embraced it.

Steve Jobs also knew that he had nothing to lose, better than most of us do, because he lived every day of his life knowing it may very well be his last, that even if it wasn’t, the end was coming for him, and soon.  We all know we’re going to die, but we don’t all walk around carrying it in our pocket, like a ticket about to expire.  We can take our lives a little more for granted.  But that also means that we take for granted that we’ll always have another chance.

Folks, you don’t always get another chance.  You need to seize the moment TODAY!  Carpe Diem!  You have Nothing to Lose!  You must LIVE your life, GO without fear!

They say, on our deathbeds, that people never express regrets for the things they did, only for the things they didn’t do.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to wake up, seemingly tomorrow, in my age and infirmity, on my deathbed, and be painfully aware of every missed opportunity.  I may not be able to make everything I ever dreamed of in life happen, it’s true, but I want and need to know that I TRIED.  THAT is no regrets.  It’s living a life where you can never say you didn’t try.  It’s not about always succeeding; remember, Success is just Failure^{^n.}  It’s about being willing to try and fail.  It’s knowing you have nothing to lose, because in the end, the result is the same; we die.  So if we’re all going to die…then what matters is how we live.

So folks, go out there and make TODAY the day that you seize the opportunity; that you take that first step up that sheer cliff face of self-improvement, whatever that may be for you.  As Thoreau said, “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams; live the life you have imagined.”

Go get yourselves some today; there may never be a tomorrow.

Best wishes-

Lisa Roebuck

Week 5: Courage, Fear, and Personal Honesty

This week, I’m going to wax philosophical on you guys; I need it, and you need it.

This, is a  Challenge, and any Challenge in life requires Courage.  To have Courage, one must face their Fears, and to face our Fears, we must practice Personal Honesty.

Much has been said on the topic of Courage, by many of the greatest minds ever to have graced humanity with their thoughts:

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear” -Mark Twain

“Courage is the discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose.” - Tom Krause
“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.” - Mary Ann Radmacher

Almost every quote you’ll find about the definition of Courage references one or both of two things; Fear and Change (the Unknown).  The relationship between Courage, Fear and Change (the Unknown) can be summed up thus; “It takes Courage to overcome one’s Fear of Change (the Unknown).”  It’s an unholy trinity, the Bermuda Triangle of Life.  Either you find Courage, or you’re forever stuck Fearing Change (the Unknown).

I spent most of my life completely believing I’m a coward.  I spent 31 years doing everything and anything I could to avoid any kind of personal pain or discomfort.  I learned quite a few things in those 31 years, and I’d like to share them with you:

1.            Avoiding making a choice, because you’re afraid, is still a choice.  You’re choosing to let life choose FOR you, and that is a choice in and of itself.  Making a choice cannot be avoided, in life; act, or the world will act for you, and you’ll still have no one to blame but yourself.

2.            Trying to avoid personal discomfort by procrastinating change is like paying a ridiculously high interest rate on your credit card and maintaining a constant balance…when you have the money to pay off the card right now.  Every month you pay a little bit of discomfort to avoid just paying it all off at once, biting the bullet, and moving on.  Choosing to experience constant low-voltage pain to avoid one big dose of pain and then experience permanent, exhilarating, liberating freedom from pain is one definition of insanity.
3.            The strongest, most courageous people you know, are scared to death.  But they know what I told you last week; the brave die but once, a coward dies a thousand times.  Courageous people stare themselves in the face, force themselves to be honest about what it is they want, and what it is they fear they will lose in the attempt to get it, they acknowledge their fear, and they master it.  They know they must and may fail to succeed, and though they fear it, they risk it.

Probably ¾ of the way through my 10 months of personal training, when my trainer was commenting about the clients she had, that she’d had for years, that never made any progress, I had sort of a mini-epiphany.  I asked her, “Isn’t that discouraging to you?  That you are working so hard with them, that they have everything they need to reach their goals, that you’re putting all this time and effort into them, and that they’re failing themselves?”  Her eyes widened and she threw her hands up in the air and she exclaimed, “YES!  You have no idea!  It’s the *worst* part of my job!”

I completely get how she feels.  I’ve spent the last couple of years trying so hard to get the word out to people that the life they want is completely within their reach; that the body they want, the health they want, the happiness they seek or even the relationship they desire is right in front of them, waiting for them to reach out and take it.  Of all the people I’ve taken with me to the gym or recommended a book to or sent in the direction of my Trainers or my blog, I know of two who have wholeheartedly embraced it and made the change and reclaimed their lives.  The rest remain in their own personal Bermuda Triangle, in Limbo, waiting for someone to make the choice for them, paying interest in pain, letting Fear stand in their way.

We all have choices to make, my friends.  And Fear is the one factor in any choice that you should never factor in.  August Wilson said, “Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” Sit down with your fear and acknowledge it; don’t try to brush it under the rug or discount it, or put another face on it and pretend that it’s “prudence” or “realism” or “practicality” or “being responsible”.  Those are all rationalizations for not reaching for your own happiness.  Sit down.  Write down what it is you want from your life.  Ask yourself whether or not you’re getting those things from your life right now.  Then, anywhere the answer is “no”, ask yourself WHY.  What is standing in your way?  When your answer involves things like, “I just haven’t tried hard enough (at this lost cause)” or “I don’t have the time (to devote to something important)” or “I don’t have the money right now” or “My kids need me (and my goals will cut into time with them)” or “I just can’t take the stress right now”, call bullshit on yourself.  Those aren’t legitimate reasons, they are excuses.  If you thought in terms of possibilities rather than impossibilities, you’d see that all of those answers are code for “I’m afraid”.  And most likely, you’re afraid of the Unknown.

At the end of the Personal Honesty line of questioning for most of us, is the Fear of what the Other Side will look like.  Who will you be, after you make these changes?  Who will be there with you?  Will your friends and family still be your friends and family?  Still love you?  What else will change?  If you strip away so many of the things you are today, and rebuild, will that person even be YOU any more?  What will your life BE LIKE?

The answers are complicated; yes, you will be you, but not the you that you are today.  But I promise you, if you could see the You of your future after making the necessary changes, you’d trade in your current model RIGHT NOW, and pay any price.  I promise.  What about friends and family?  That depends on what you change.  Some of them are contributing to your unhappiness; you may shed them along the way.  You will find new ones, ones that value what you value.

You won’t be alone.  You won’t be a stranger to yourself in a bad, scary way.  Your life will and can only IMPROVE.  You must have COURAGE, friends…it takes Courage to fail, in order to succeed.

“The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.” - Sven Goran Eriksson

“If we're growing, we're always going to be out of our comfort zone.” and “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” - John Maxwell
“The key to change... is to let go of fear.”- Rosanne Cash
“If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything.” - Win Borden
“A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for.” - William Shedd
“What we seek we shall find; what we flee from flees from us.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Today I Challenge you all; Confront the dark parts of yourself; Gift yourself with Personal Honesty; Refuse to Factor in Fear; Embrace the Unknown. 

There is a Turkish proverb that goes like this:  “No matter how far you have gone on a wrong road, turn back.”  It’s never too late to be who you might have been, people. 

Wishing you all great Strength and Courage.  Go Without Fear!

Leaning Into It-
Lisa

Wellness Challenge posts

At my agency, every year, I help coordinate a Wellness Challenge for my fellow employees.  It's a 6 week challenge, mainly designed to get people moving and active, but just overall to get people focused on their own health and vitality.  We track people's minutes working out every week, assign points for how physically strenuous their workouts were, and at the end of the challenge we award a Most Improved trophy for the person who improved the highest % (in whatever area they chose to track; weight loss/muscle gain/endurance improvement, etc.) and first and second place in each of 3 categories or levels, indicating three point ranges.

Every week I send out a message or two, trying to inspire and motivate people to CHOOSE CHANGE, to choose LIFE, to choose VITALITY.  This may be just about working out and dieting, or it may be about stress reduction, leaving a bad relationship, stopping smoking, you name it. 

The messages are something relevant to my blog here, so in lieu of my blog posts, I will be editing and posting my Wellness Challenge messages.  I hope you all find them valuable!